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January 10
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Pride himself would kneel before you,
placing his crown of thorns at your feet;
staring at your lifeless eyes in defeat.

Gluttony is ever by your side,
awaiting the fresh meat
you will provide him to eat.

Sloth challenges you as always,
but remains conquered still.
No one can defeat your rigid will.

You harbour Wrath in chains
made out of your own sweat and toil.
Released only when your strength wanes,
He never really sees the light.

Envy forever runs in your veins,
laughing with glee and causing you pain.

Lust, how she loves your lilting lies!
So casually spoken yet such cruelty they hide.

You believe yourself to be above them all,
a King of your own plight.
But Greed scoffs and lets you live in your dreams,
For He is the true master,
the reason for your hunger.
:iconkiwi2191:
This is for the Free Verse Workshop given by The Writers Workshop.

The devices used in this poem are -
Personification
Alliteration
Rhythm and rhyme

The basic concept behind this poem is that we as human beings are never really free from the seven sins. We can perhaps gain control over a few of them but that's about it. Some way or the other we are a slave to our baser emotions.

Just some questions which could help me out:

1) Does this poem convey the concept mentioned above?
2) Does it have an impact on you in the sense that - does it make you think?

My comment for :iconthewrittenrevolution: - [link]

Hope that I have been able to portray this in the poem.
Enjoy!! :D
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:iconnightshade-keyblade:
*nightshade-keyblade Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
1. Most definitely. The last line definitely drives your point home.

2. It did for me. The stanza about wrath and pride, anyway
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:iconkiwi2191:
I'm really happy you enjoyed it!!

Thanks for your comments. :D
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:iconnightshade-keyblade:
*nightshade-keyblade Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! I certainly did :)
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:iconbrimana:
~Brimana Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lovely :)
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:iconthecloverparadox:
Beautifully written.
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:iconkiwi2191:
thanks you so much!!! I'm really glad you liked it. :iconjoyplz:
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:iconphil314:
~Phil314 Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I understood the message very clearly even before reading the description, and you worked the rhythm and rhyme just right. Well done.
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:iconkiwi2191:
I'm so glad!!! :D
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:iconbladedshadows:
Ooh, that's beautiful. You're a fantastic weaver of imagery, and very perceptive, it seems :)
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